i need to be as eli sees me...

sarah's 18 month old thinks i am buddha. she told me this on saturday. every morning elias wakes up and points at the three duplicate image of buddha they have framed on their bedroom wall and says, "mee-mee," which up until this week was his name for me. they wondered if he was just recognizing an image of buddha and remembering that i have a wooden carved buddha on my wall. they wondered if he thought it was his friend, "may-may," who is this beautiful and blissful child with round cheeks. after all, children are more naturally buddha-like than adults. they solved it by just asking him, "elias do you think that is may on the wall," to which he answered, "no." next they asked, "who is that on the wall?" he apparently answered clearly, 'jami." and though my name might change from week to week, from mee-mee, to jami, to jenny, back to mee-mee again, that calm, smiling, peaceful depiction on the wall somehow represents me to him. i am more moved and touched than i deserve to be. i always go through these funks where i feel like i am not accomplishing enough, or worry over things i have done wrong in the past, or stress over something thoughtless i might have said, but i guess i am doing something right, something in those moments that i spend with a two year old. if only i could carry that authenticity on into my relationships with adults, those friends i always seem to offend by not always answering my phone. i am motivated to work on it! or perhaps the moral of this story is that i shouldn't stress, or "work" on anything, just be there in the now, just be there in the relationship honestly, just answer the phone with a smile.