it is finally here!

yes, the christmas tree is up! i feel like singing christmas carols and decorating all of my neighbors doors with wreaths. if i were a better baker, i would make sugar cookies with green and red sprinkles! if i had more money, i would buy presents for all of you and wrap them with silk ribbons and cinnamon sticks. if i had children, today they would make reindeer ornaments out of popsicle sticks, and santas out of construction paper with fluffy beards of cotton. but instead, today i decorated my new tree calmly, letting my grahm wilkinson cd set a more folksy mood. i burned incense and smiled alone in my house, thinking about a tradition that makes me feel more connected to my loved ones that are now thousands of miles away. i am not sure why i like christmas, and like it to the point of obsession. as often as i prepare my response, i never can come up with a rational answer for those who ask, "why so early?" (i once put up a christmas tree in august and you can imagine the gasps.) i guess i love christmas for simple reasons: the colors, the smells of warm spices like nutmeg and cinnamon, shiny things, the abstract image of one's nose in the reflection of a christmas ball, christmas cards with handwritten messages of peace and love, crystal candy dishes with that ridiculously hard swirly candy from our grandparent's generation, the crackling noise of burning wood. christmas is for me a guilty pleasure, i rub my hands together and giggle at the thought of it. i know if i were more progressive (and i do want to be more progressive), i would boycott the myth of santa before i have children of my own. i feel like if i were more environmentally responsible (and i do want to be more environmentally responsible), i would not wrap presents and would instead plant trees for gifts. i feel like if i were more socially conscious (and, yes, i do want to be more socially conscious), i would recluse this time of year, take a stand against a holiday that has become synonymous with glutton consumerism and has been, for the most part, completely drained of sentimentality and hope. but for some unknown reason, every year i become so utterly and completely happy, drunkenly so, just at the thought of christmas!